Pushing the rock

King Sisyphus, according to Greek mythology, was an unfortunate soul who was condemned by the gods to forever push a giant boulder up a mountain, only to watch it roll back down the next day. For the rest of eternity, he was doomed to push, fail, and then repeat his task.


Sometimes the writing process can seem Sisyphean: "endless and unavailing, as a labor or a task."

We write, rewrite, are dissatisfied with the results, tear up our writing, and then repeat, only to face rejection. It can appear to be an endless loop of failure.

But appearances can be deceiving. Sisyphus never gave up on his task.  And, as the best writers know, neither do we give up on writing. In fact, I would argue that the more dissatisfied and self-critical we become, the better we become as writers.


Over the years, I've watched many newbie writers toil in critique groups. They start out  wide-eyed and breathless--they bring pages each week, eager to show them off to what they're certain will be group acclaim. A year later (if they stick with it), their eyes have lost their glow. They bring in pages, hungry now for magic words of advice which will point out what is wrong with their writing, and how to fix it.


Fast forward another year; they're still bringing in pages, but they're no longer expecting praise or instant cures. Their expressions have become grim and vaguely haunted. They already know what's wrong, and they're struggling mightily to self-correct. They are writing, revising, tearing up what they've written, and repeating. They may even have gotten a rejection or two from agents or magazines, but they're still going.


They have become writers.

I suppose each of us has our own reasons for pushing through this difficult process known as writing. I'm suspicious of writers who claim that being a writer is like living in Happyville, or that they're driven by a compulsion that they just can't help. Some of the most successful writers I know are miserable, neurotic wretches. Usually, they are the most miserable when they're on deadline.


Personally, I keep going because I like having written. I do not specifically "love" writing. Writing is difficult. Writing is never truly finished. Pick up anything you wrote more than a year ago, and you will find issues with it. If what you wrote has already been published, you will feel a pang of regret. I have been known to edit my writing as I'm reading it at a bookstore before an audience. 


What makes you keep writing when things seem tough? And if everything is easy for you and you dwell in Happyville, feel free to share, even though I will resent you.