White Elephant Christmas Gifts for Crime Fiction Buffs

By Jordan Dane
@JordanDane

This post doesn’t have anything to do with writing or books, but I could seriously use your help, TKZ. You are all so creative and imaginative. My family is starting a new Christmas tradition. We’re doing a white elephant gift exchange. I know the best stuff is the tacky re-gifts that you may already have around your house. There is this horrid wooden Man of La Mancha statue that we got from someone when we were first married. (A nameless but not forgotten someone.) That eye sore has made it through countless moves and the wooden lance Don Q came with has broken and left him defenseless against his windmills. But since we can’t find him now, I need other ideas.
 
Here are a few ideas that I’ve seen that might appeal to crime fiction readers and writers:
 

Anything Dexter



Finger Soaps

 

 

A Thumb Drive

 



When this bath mat gets wet, it bleeds. A must have.

Armed and Loaded



A murderous knife holder for your kitchen

 

This is the coolest mug ever!

This has nothing to do with crime fiction, except that it might inspire murderous thoughts. Here’s what’s at the top of my list, except that it’s an import from Germany and I can’t wait for the shipping:

Is there a best? Really?

 
I’ve heard other suggestions to spice up the gift exchange. Some people have recommended parlor games to play or they suggest conducting a contest for the ugliest Christmas sweater. Here is a top contender for ugly sweater, etc.

This guy is really committed--or he should be.

Do you have any other ideas on fun things to do, along with the White Elephant ticky-tacky gift exchange? Please help me out, TKZ.