Further Utterances of Sun Tzu

Here is a poem from the book Submerged Structure. It is a contemplation on what the famous Chinese philosopher of war, Sun Tzu might do if forced to stay at the Downtown Hospitality Inn in Tuscaloosa. It's not really about that. Look, here's Paris Hilton reading a book...

Further Utterances of Sun-Tzu

If occupying moral 
High ground 
Build a bamboo 
Hut 
Suitable for gloating 
And ride it out 
With Sumatran coffee 
And the London Times. 

If handed an inferior 
Glass of wine 
At a peace negotiation 
Thrust it defiantly 
In the host's face 
Dashing all hopes of peace 
As he has dashed 
Your hope for a good 
Buzz, 
Then overturn the 
Buffet table and rape 
His wife-
A chintzy host cannot 
Be trusted. 

When in Rome... 

Duckwalk, 

When in Indiana... 




Cowtip, 
And when in Tuscaloosa 
Well, you know, 
Stay at the beautiful 
Downtown Hospitality Inn. 
There are one-way mirrors 
Behind the artwork 
And the ice machine 
Is broken, 
But they gave me fifty 

Bucks for the ad space. 

(Sun Tzu doesn't 
Actually endorse 
The Hospitality Inn 
Or this poem 
But being dead 
He's in a very 
Weak tactical 
Position 
So fuck him).