Much has been written about John Carter and its seemingly inevitable failure (in terms of both quality and box office). One of the most interesting aspects of this conversation, at least for me, centered around the film's title. By dropping "of Mars" from the marquee, Disney claims the film is becoming more gender-neutral. In other words, women don't want to see a movie set on Mars.
I call bullshit. Women weren't seeing this movie if Taylor Kitsch ran around like Dr. Manhattan for two hours, and the "of Mars" was the only thing giving the film any sort of identity. Who is John Carter? Maybe a plumber, an accountant. Nothing about the film's title says Civil War hero and intergalactic messiah.
It's one of the most idiotic things I've heard in a long time, and if it seems like I'm being harsh, it's just because the film is everywhere, and every time I see the title pop up, I cringe.
It got me thinking, though. Though it wouldn't be my style, films come out all the time with their titles simply being the name (first, last, or both) of a main character. And it wasn't hard to come up with ten that actually work. Enjoy!
10.) Gandhi, Capote, JFK, Ray, and all other biopics
Kind of a cheat, I guess, but you could do a lot worse than naming your biopic after its subject. I still prefer titles like Walk the Line, but for marketability purposes, I totally understand and accept this common practice.
9.) Juno
The movie? Ugh. The title? Solid. "Juno" (like a lot of words on this list) is as much an adjective as it is a name. And the way she always corrects people by saying "Not the city in Alaska" is one of the few reliable chuckles in this clunky screenplay (yep, still complaining).
8.) Napoleon Dynamite
Another stinker of a film, but man, back in 2004, this title was ubiquitous. Every high school had a kid with curly hair and a glazed look on his face who was called Napoleon (in my high school's case, me), and honestly, I don't know what you call this film if not Napoleon Dynamite … "Tots and Ligers"?
7.) Michael Clayton
Like John Carter, Michael Clayton could be anyone. Unlike John Carter, that's OK, in this case. Michael Clayton is a really complex character, but he remains just a lawyer. Tony Gilroy's film is so stylish, but in an ordinary way, and the simplicity of the title helps sell that so well. Maybe not the most marketable way to name your film, but the last thing we need is another lamely titled law thriller.
6.) Dr. No
A caveat with this one: For the first title in a series, I'm not sure was the best route to take, but talk about menacing. Dr. No is perhaps the ultimate name for a villain, and the way the film skirts around actually introducing us to him is nothing short of brilliant.
5.) Spartacus
The word "Spartacus" screams strength and power. Now, maybe that's just because of its association with both this film and the Starz television series, but at least you know what you're getting with a film with such a title. It's going to take place in either ancient Greece or Rome, and it's not likely that it'll focus too much on the pursuit of knowledge by Senators and aristocrats. It'll be big, bold, and bloody, and Kubrick's film doesn't disappoint. (My review)
4.) Happy Gilmore
Happy Madison Productions, it seems, has a hard time coming up with a decent title. Almost every single one of their films features a character's name in the title in some way. This is maybe the only one that works. Billy Madison says nothing to me. Ditto Little Nicky, Jack and Jill, etc. But Happy Gilmore screams "Schlub!"—not necessarily "Pro golfer schlub!", but it's close enough. After all, it's not like the film is a beacon of artistic expression.
3.) Forrest Gump
Another title that screams "Schlub!" This one is Deep South to the hilt, but the name also gives off the feeling of innocence and naivete, no?
2.) Rocky
Scrappy, tough guy with a never-say-die attitude. That's what "Rocky" says to me, and that's exactly what this film delivers. A special shout out to the sixth film in the series, Rocky Balboa, which is exactly what the sixth film in a 30-year-old series should be—to the point.
1.) Annie Hall
It earns the top spot on this list because it's so nondescript, yet it says everything you need to know about this film and character. Annie Hall is trendy. Annie Hall is smart. Annie Hall is New York. Annie Hall is a little flaky, a little frustrating. Annie Hall is someone men want to be with and women want to be around. Annie Hall was, in the late 1970s, a lifestyle, and her meaning, obviously, still endures today. (My review)
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