Where were you on the night of...

by Michelle Gagnon

I was recently asked to participate in an anthology whose sales will benefit one of my favorite non-profits, 826 National. If you aren't familiar with the amazing work they do to promote writing among kids, be sure to follow the link and find out! They have programs in several major cities now, including SF, NYC, DC, Boston, Chicago, Michigan, & Seattle, and there are lots of opportunities to donate and/or volunteer.

Anyway, the basis of the anthology is inspired: they've asked a number of renowned authors such as Dave Eggers, Lauren Oliver, and Daniel Handler to submit alibis because, sadly, we're all suspects in the murder of the world's meanest editor.

Is that perfect, or what?

So I thought that today we'd do something a little different today. Submit YOUR alibi for the murder of the world's meanest editor. The only rules are:

• Brevity: keep it short, 100-200 words max (I'm looking at you, Mr. Sands)
• Language: keep it clean, folks; after all, this is a family blog.

Other than that, be as creative/zany as you'd like.

The Set-Up:

On the night of Wednesday, October 5th, Mr. William H. Meany III, the famed editor of such works as, I HATE YOU ALL OVER and IT'S LITERARY FICTION, SO WE DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T READ IT, was found dead in his home. That evening, Mr. Meany had played host to several reluctant authors, some of whom have spent decades under the brutal subjugation of his notorious "red pen of tears and shame," a term that Mr. Meany not only coined, but copyrighted. It's generally agreed that Mr. Meany was the author of the scandalous publishing blog, "I know what you did in your last manuscript," which accused numerous famous writers of plagiarism, ghost writing, and improper use of gerunds, and was operated under the pseudonym "Nom de Plume Rouge."

The police are currently requesting alibis for everyone present. It's important that you be able to account for your whereabouts from 6:30pm that evening until shortly after midnight, when Mr. Meany was found facedown in a pool of blood, surrounded by the pages of a shredded manuscript. Rumor has it that he had threatened several of the attendees with revealing their deepest, darkest secret over nightcaps. He was murdered before making good on that threat.

Enjoy...